The Boys Will Have Fond Memories of Gmom....

 Sitting here pondering the subject of my next blog post, but not making much progress.  I've written about how blessed we were.  I have written about the pain of grieving.   I have not yet written about how much Pam adored our five grandsons and that they adored her.  They knew that she didn't like the terms Grandma or Nana, so they called her Gmom.  And that stuck. 

Grieving must be especially difficult for the children.  I know that the three oldest were deeply affected by what the disease did to their grandmother.  And then they had to deal with her death.  They had spent the most time with her.  

I was fortunate that my grandparents all survived until I was in college.  This left me with many great memories.  I trust that Pam did the same with her grandsons.  They each have different adventures that can provide those memories.

Noah and Elijah had a wonderful visit to the Maine Wildlife Center, where they saw several moose up close. And there was the visit to the corn maze.  They got to play in a little room full of dried corn.  Then we all took a wagon ride around the farm.  

When I was young, my parents put me on a train, alone, and my Uncle Peter would pick me up in New York, where I spent a week with him fishing.  My daughters and grandsons had never ridden a train.  It became quite the adventure.  We all met at Shaving Hill Farm and drove to Biddeford, Maine to catch the train, known as the Downeaster, to Boston.   There we spent several hours in the Museum of Science checking out the exhibits.  Then we trudged over to historic Faneuil Hall Marketplace to eat.  An amazing array of over 50 food purveyors and eateries.  There is no food that you can not find there.  We all took a nap on the train ride back to Maine.

In what became an annual family event, were our visits to the Fryeburg Fair.   We all loved watching the horse pulls and then walking through the draft horse barns.  When you are only 10-years old, a 2,000 pound horse is a BIG animal.  The cow barns were also a favorite, especially when there is  a new born calf to see.  The vegetable and craft buildings were also a must.  Our last year to visit was especially challenging as we were sharing one wheel chair between Pam and Kendra.

 The boys also have fond memories of watching the Limington July Fourth Parade and the annual fireworks.  But for Ryder, Jacoby, and Noah, Limington became their second home for six-month during the COVID experience.   Their mom had a medical condition that might have been problematic with COVID vaccines.  The safest place for her boys was our farm in a small town and a mile down a dead-end road.  I sat at the dining room table with the boys on weekdays doing work.  After which they had the run of the farm.  I know that Pam and I felt very blessed to be able to host the boys for that time.  I hope that as time passes they have the same view of their time spent with us.

Being the youngest, Keelan had the most difficulty seeing the effects of the dementia on his grandmother.   As the disease progressed, he understandably distanced himself.  It is just too much for a seven or eight year-old to understand.  But he had a wonderful adventure with us while RVing in Boothbay, Maine.  A nearby steam locomotive living museum provided a day of train rides and historic shops like a blacksmith.  He may not remember because of his your age, but his Gmom was thrilled to spend that time with him.

Christmas was Pam's season.  The farm was always generously decorated.  Her collection of Santa statuettes was on display.  We would all wander up into our Christmas tree field and choose our tree and drag it back to the house.  For most Christmas's the entire family was at the farm.  The stockings were lined up and the  presents were abundant.  The holiday meal was delicious.  They will all remember the Christmas cookie tray.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Pam's relationship with her grandsons didn't end when she died. She left pieces of herself in them. They may not realize it now, but some of the things they learned, the things they enjoyed, and even the way they think about family were shaped by their Gmom.  

It is important that we tell these stories.  Someday, when they're grown men, they may read this and discover memories they had forgotten, or see their grandmother in a way they couldn't when they were children.  They will grow to understand that part of who they are was influenced by their adoring grandmother. And perhaps someday, when they have children of their own, they will tell them about Gmom—the grandmother who loved Christmas, took them to fairs, watched fireworks with them, and let them run free on a farm in Maine.

Pam may not be here to watch them grow into proper young men, but her influence is.  In that way, perhaps she isn't quite as far away as it sometimes feels.